I am lonely.
This was a choice.
“You’re too old to have a BFF, anyway.” ~ my MIL
Job Change —> Priorities Changed —> Time Use Changed —> Stepped Away.
That doesn’t mean I don’t think about her every day. But when I message her to ask how she is, the last three responses have been, “Fine.”
The thing is… I chose this. I pined for loneliness. And when the thought crosses my mind, when I wake up from a dream where I was picking new friends (how very ninth grade of me), I smile through that sad feeling.
There could be something wrong with me. I enjoy this feeling. Fucked up. And rather apropos.