Toni’s burning desire

TONI

 

I just knew I was doing the right thing. If I was going to get myself in deep with the occult, I was going to have to start leveraging the gods to do something to help with my predicament. You can’t just go around wishing for things without doing something about them, otherwise why bother wishing at all? The girls seemed very eager to help, and a huge amount of strain left my neck and shoulders as they agreed. It had to wait, Sonci said. And at that point, I had all the time in the world. Femi said they would work something up for me, and we would sit together in a circle and make it go.

 

My luck was turning for the better then. I was feeling great – without the aid of weed or alcohol or opium. It had been a very long time since I’d been happy, and still I caught myself in a pleasant surprise every time I notice myself smiling.

 

The kids were growing into such interesting young people, and Roy was supportive of every whim I threw at him. I thought I’d be interested in art lessons again, and wouldn’t it be fun to go to the library more often? Possibilities began popping up in front of me in every direction I turned.

 

Just knowing that soon I would have an answer to my burning desire was enough to make me want to click my heels in the air. I knew it would be only a matter of time now before I was back in the arms of my one true love again. But this time, I’d do it differently. No more drugs to fade my memories. No more dragging myself out of bed the next morning without purpose.

 

I was so much more complete than I’d been before. Life Was Vibrant! Having a plan really made all the difference in the world to me. And knowing my days with Roy were numbered, I did my very best to appreciate each one. It wasn’t that I didn’t love Roy somehow… just that I wasn’t in love with him like I was Harold. I still wanted Roy to be happy, and I knew that whatever came of us, he would be. Especially because this time, I wasn’t leaving my kids with him, and I wasn’t going to make him be the only parent again.

 

I knew that had to have been really hard for him. Though Seliah was a brilliant child, and very responsible, it couldn’t have been easy for him all those years to know that he had to get home early to make sure she ate – especially on the longer days he must have spent in the office. I know he had a little help – Seliah said that her “Aunt Rachel used to come over a lot for a little while,” but still. I wouldn’t wish single parenting on any person. And especially not good-natured Roy.

 

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